How to educate children at home

Introduction

The Tarbiyah (Islamic education and training) must start at home and from a very early age when children are inquisitive and excited about learning. We need to provide a holistic Islamic education for our children in order to raise them as good people and strong believers. This includes teaching them prayers, manners and etiquettes as well as love of the deen and consciousness of why Allah deserves our worship.

Instil in them a love and connection to Allah

When you have a deep love for Allah it can transform your life. There is hope in your heart, sincerity in your worship and tranquillity in your soul. We all want to share this gift with our children so that they develop lifelong devotion to Allah and are always keen to please Him. As well as teaching children rituals, like praying and fasting show them the numerous reasons to love Him.

Find opportunities to contemplate on Allah’s signs with your children. Observing the beauty of nature helps us reflect on Allah’s perfect creation. We witness a supreme plan in the universe and an amazing beauty and harmony in its workings. When we appreciate the wonders of Allah’s creation it brings us closer to Him. 

Introduce children to the beautiful names of Allah. Learning Allah’s names helps them to reflect on the qualities of Allah and His many blessings.

Be grateful. Involve your children to thank Allah at all times for the unlimited favours and blessings He has bestowed on us all. Whenever you receive something including good news tell your children it is from Allah swt. Thank Allah out loud and model the behaviour you wish for them to see. This helps to deepen their love for Allah and teaches them the importance of gratitude.

Don’t tell them that Allah is going to punish them. It is important to teach them what is right and wrong but don’t use Allah to threaten them as this will cause resentment. In fact Allah does not punish children as they are not accountable for their actions so highlight the attributes of Allah so children are inclined towards Him.

Dua

Make tonnes of dua for your children. Ask Allah swt for help and guidance in bringing them up as well as protection for them. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said “There are three supplications that will undoubtedly be answered: the supplication of one who has been wronged, the supplication of the traveller and the supplication of a father for his child” (Ibn Majah).

It is a part of our worship to rely on Allah so we need to incorporate dua into our daily lives. Teach your children to make dua. It will increase their Iman and tawakkul (trust) in Allah and give them hope to carry on as well as an optimism that everything will be alright. Children should also be taught to make dua for others. This increases their empathy and concern for other people and is pleasing to Allah. Remind children to always glorify Allah, thank him and send salutations on Muhammad ﷺ when they make dua.

Give your children responsibility

We all wish for our children to become mature responsible adults. There are ways for us to work towards this. Children should be given age specific chores around the house. This teaches them responsibility, the value of hard work and a sense of accomplishment. We should also consult our children in household matters, and this in turn will help them in their own decision making processes. Give children sound advice and give them the responsibility to make their own decisions. Mushwara (mutual consultation) in the family unites the hearts and increases love. Muhammad ﷺ would often consult with the Sahabah or his family despite being the Messenger of Allah.

Encourage good company

Friends have a great influence on children. Their views, behaviours and habits rub off on your children especially teenagers and can influence them in one direction or another. Help your children establish good friends by seeking out friendships for your families that align with your values and who boost your iman.

Righteous friends will give your children sincere advice:  they will guide them to do good and forbid what is wrong. They will always be ready to help them, will share beneficial knowledge with them and encourage them to participate in activities to gain Allah’s pleasure.

Pray together

Praying in Jamaat (congregation) is beloved to Allah. Parents should set a good example to their children by praying together. This will be recognised by children as a special time when the family comes together to worship Allah. Allocate a peaceful area in the house, give the children their own little prayer mats and place a small shelf of Islamic books and Quran there for easy access. After salah gather the family together to read a short hadith with its explanation.

Read Quran daily

Reciting and reflecting on the Book of Allah and devoting regular time to its study and memorization has amazing benefits for us and our families. It is imperative for us to teach our children how to recite the Quran with proper pronunciation (Tajweed) and to set aside adequate time for this. Together with our children we should attend or listen to lectures of the scholars to understand the message of the Quran. Narrating stories of the Quran to children and reminding them of the reward of its recitation will develop a love of the Quran in them.

Take them to the masjid

Teach your children about the value of visiting the masjid,  how the prayer is rewarded twenty seven times more if performed there and how to show respect in the House of Allah.

Sadaqah

Children should be taught the virtue of sadaqah from a young age. As well as donation of money sadaqah includes a wide range of other charitable acts. Encourage children to donate some of their own money to charity (sadaqah). When we donate from our wealth this removes wordliness from our hearts and helps us to appreciate all the blessings Allah has bestowed upon us. Other acts of charity like showing kindness and helping people increases our empathy and understanding of others. Islam emphasises goodness which is an innate part of human nature, and this is the quality that we need to nurture in our children.

Time management

Time in the life of a Muslim is a precious blessing. Children should be trained to value time: to take advantage of it while they have it and to use it wisely. We all have a finite number of days in this life in which to gain the pleasure of Allah, seek His forgiveness and ensure that our good deeds weigh heavily on our scales on the Day of Judgement.

Limit the use of devices

We are living in the age of technology which has provided us with numerous benefits especially the abundance of resources and learning tools that are available online. But at the same time the use of consoles, smart phones and other devices has created unlimited distractions. Immorality has become easily accessible. We need to address these issues with our children and explain to them the harms of such content. If we want to create an environment in the home which is conducive to learning then the use of these devices for entertainment needs to be carefully controlled.

Teach children how to be better organised:

• Sleep early and take advantage of the blessings of early morning for prayer, work or study.
• Set and achieve goals. This is an important life skill that children can greatly benefit from. Setting goals allows your child to have a clear vision of what they want to get done and enables them to plan, prioritise and work towards achieving their goals. It helps them to develop self confidence and a sense of achievement.
• Don’t leave for tomorrow what you can do today. Encourage children not to procrastinate. Once they have accomplished a necessary task eg. submitting an assignment their time and mind is freed up so they can relax without worrying about unfinished work.
• Create to-do lists and have the satisfaction of ticking off items as they are completed.

Routines

To support your child in their Islamic education it is helpful to set up good routines. These can be part of an organised and predictable home environment which helps children feel safe and secure. Routines can also strengthen family relationships and help children develop life skills and habits that will facilitate them on their journey to becoming pious practising Muslims.

Bedtime routine:

Try to get children into the habit of following a bedtime routine, focusing on the following basics:

• Making wudu and lying down on the right side.
• Reading Ayat ul Kursi. The Prophet ﷺ said: “When you are about to sleep, recite Ayat ul Kursi till the end of the verse for there will remain over you a protection from Allah and no devil will draw near to you until morning.” (Bukhari)
• The Prophet ﷺ said “Whoever recites the last two verses of Surah Al-Baqarah at night, those two verses shall be sufficient for him” (i.e. to protect him from harm). (Al Bukhari)
• Reciting ‘Subhanallah’ 33 times, ‘Alhamdulillah’ 33 times and ‘Allahu Akbar’ 34 times. (Bukhari)
• Reciting Surah Al-Nas, Surah Al-Falaq and Surah Al-Ikhlas, then blowing into the hands and wiping over the body, starting with the head and face and then all parts of the body. This is to be repeated three times. (Bukhari)

Friday (Jumuah) routine

Friday is a very special day for Muslims (the best day of the week) when the Muslim Ummah comes together to bond spiritually in the congregational prayers at the masjid. It makes sense to have a routine on Friday in which children learn to follow the sunnah of our beloved Prophet saw.

• Take a bath (Ghusl).
• Use miswaak (tooth stick) to clean your teeth.
• Wear clean presentable clothes before the Friday prayer.
• Apply perfume.
• Cut your nails.
• Perform the Jumuah prayer at the Masjid in congregation.
• Listen to the Khutba (sermon) of Jumuah attentively.
• Read Surah Al Kahf.
• Send Durood and Blessings upon Muhammad ﷺ.
• Make lots of duas between Asr and Maghrib.

Ramadan routine

Ramadan is the beautiful sacred month in which we come close to our Creator by fasting and performing additional prayers and good deeds in order to please Him. Children like to compete especially in fasting. Encouraging children to fast when they are ready to do so means they will be used to fasting by the time they reach adolescence. In order to share the joy of Ramadan and reap the blessings and rewards of this amazing month it is important to set up a routine for the family.

• Plan what to eat. Pray Tahajjud and Fajr. Recite Qur’an after Fajr.
• Work or study during the day. Do dhikr wherever possible.
• Between Asr and Maghrib- Have a nap. Recite Quran. Aim to complete the Qur’an in Ramadan. Prepare iftar.
• Make duas. Break the fast. Pray Maghrib.
• Isha/ Taraweeh with the family at the Masjid.
• The routine will vary in the last ten nights of Ramadan with a particular focus on more night time worship in search of Laylatul Qadr.

On Eid share greetings, recite Takbir and pray Eid salah in congregation at the masjid. Make Eid special for the children by giving them new clothes, gifts/money and enjoy feasting with the family or friends. Remember the poor and needy by donating “Zakat ul Fitr”.  

Our children are a gift from Allah. They are also an Amanah from Him to us. Therefore, it is our duty to educate, train and protect them so that with the help of Allah they grow into righteous and responsible Muslims. For this it is important for us as parents to provide the right Islamic environment for our children to thrive. May Allah make this task easy for us and grant us children who are the comfort of our eyes and Sadaqah jariyah for us, Ameen.